As I narrow down my choices for what areas I want to study when I go back to school and try to decide what exactly my degree will be, I’m taken back to my high school days when the plan was to major in English. I got the same looks that everyone gets when they bring that one up. The look that says, “Ehhh… ok, I guess, it’s better than Philosophy.”

I never got around to school immediately after high school, and then I bounced back and forth several times between doing something English/Writing related and Culinary school since writing and cooking are two passions of mine. I’ve since realized that cooking will always be a hobby-esque passion and that I would not do well trying to make it a career. I have no idea if I’ll do well trying to make writing a career, but I’m still compelled to try anyway. That compulsion was what clued me in to my decision ultimately.

So, as I sat here pondering, I made myself think of 9 things I could do with a degree in English. No… not career-wise. With the ACTUAL physical degree itself. Because once people see all that you can do with that degree, their looks of “Why English?” will turn into “OMG ENGLISH!!! Woooo!”

9. Two words… party hat.

8. With a Bachelor of Arts degree and some creative cut outs from magazines and newspapers, you can transform it into a “Bad-Ass of Arts” degree in English. You…a certified bad-ass.

7. You are now allowed to travel to England because you can prove you speak the language.

6. You now have a flashy name tag to stick to your chest for your next round of speed dating.

5. Rather than filling out job applications, just submit copies of the degree. Write ‘Boo-yah!’ at the top, knowing how impressed everyone is going to be by your accomplishment. Wait for the offers to roll in.

4. Fold it into one of those fortune-telling devices ¬†you made back in the third grade. Pick the color Blue, then the number 6. Find out that you’re going to marry a booger. Wonder what you’ll name the kids.

3. Use the back to write a list of demands for your trailer for when the best-seller you’re going to write gets turned into the next Hollywood block buster.

2. Procure some high tech lab equipment from the nearest pharmaceutical company or government research facility and following Nicholas Cage’s example, see if you can find an invisible treasure map on the back of your degree.

1. Now that you have a nice piece of paper you can use for a demo piece, you can finally fill out that application to the University of Origami that you’ve been dying to go to your entire life and get a REAL education.

Remember these next time your parents/brother/sister/neighbor/cashier/buddy from down the street/stranger from up the street/somewhat acquaintance from across the street gives you crap for your choice in educational endeavors. You’re going to be just fine!