Ok, so perhaps it’s not that many rounds, but it feels like it, so that’s the number my brain came up with and the one I’m rolling with. The number of course representing the number of times I’ve sworn to myself I’m going to buckle down with my writing and then didn’t follow through.

I’m doing it again though, glutton for punishment that I am. Didn’t realize it’s coming up on TWO years since I made my last real “commitment”. On one side it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, and on the other, the last 2 years of my life feel like they’ve taken decades to get through. I have to try again, because giving up means giving in, and that just isn’t an option that ends well for me.

It’s not a resolution… it’s not even a goal… it just is. I’m going to write more this year. I’m going to try to cobble together some semblance of consistency with my efforts. Which should be really easy to do since pretty much any effort is going to be more consistent than previous efforts.

I’m going to figure out what I want from this life, and then I’m going to get it. Right now, what I really want is to be able to look back when December 2013 rolls around and NOT be able to say “This was the worst year of my life”, because that was the phrase that was on my tongue at the end of 2010, 2011, AND 2012.

Looking back now (at least at 2010 and 2011), it’s become easier to see that those years weren’t as bad as I originally perceived. That it was just one or two big events that skewed my perception of the entire year, masking the good stuff that happened the rest of the year.  And I have to believe the same will happen for last year at some point as well. But it’ll be nice to not have to wait for hindsight for those realizations to enter my mind. I’m hoping for fewer hard hits this year, but even if they continue to come, I’m going to keep my perspective, and keep pushing forward in a POSITIVE frame of mind. Easier said than done, but saying it out loud (or at least typing it out so I can read it) is the first step towards achievement.

So we begin…again… and again… and again… as many times as necessary

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